February 16th 2015

Confidence; this is something that I have struggled with all my life. I can be a doubtful person which led to the lack in confidence in the tasks I have completed; lack in confidence in the choices I made, and just not having confidence in myself. I always needed approval from someone else.

It seems as though we are always trying to please others. Even with this blog I catch myself worrying about what certain people are going to think; how they are going to react to the topics I talk about. Why do we need the approval of others to make us happy? Does it really make us happy? Or does it make us feel like we are safe?

I have always needed to see what others thoughts and opinions are before expressing my own to make sure I was not the odd man out. Because heaven forbid I was different. Does society do this to us? Do we do this to ourselves? We want approval from our friends so that we know we are accepted. We want to fix ourselves to meet their standards of our parents, significant other, even people that are not even relevant in our lives.

How do we find that confidence and build it back up? It was acknowledging that I did not have it. It was putting myself in a situation where I was in charge and I made the decisions. Having that power is what started giving me confidence back. Going off to college where I was not surrounded by the people that I had allowed to control my decisions, it was a confidence booster to make decisions knowing it was okay to make wrong ones because that’s how we grow and the more wrong decisions you make today, the more right decisions you make tomorrow. I’ve realized that I am the decider of what decisions are right and wrong now. I’m sure some would think my right decisions are wrong for them and that’s okay.

We all need to realize that our opinions and what we do matter. If you have something to add that is different or weird, be proud and realize, most brilliant people in the world ARE usually different and weird! Your life is a canvas, be the masterpiece you were intended to be, not just a part of someone else’s masterpiece.

Saydee RobinsonSaydee senior pic 6

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